(1994 - 2023) Akshay Johnson, known as the Grand Poobah to about four people, hit eternal paradise last week after a power struggle with his long-lost half-brother Garrett. As a human church, Johnson was under constant incompetent scrutiny by the IRS for a litany of financial crimes and tax evasion - but don't worry, murder charges were off the table. Surrounded at death by his friends and parishioners Rad, Tad, Bad, and unconscious Jerry, Johnson will be remembered for his improbable religious views and his impromptu booze-filled prayer sessions held at numerous sports stadiums across the tri-state area. Johnson's funeral will be held at Madison Square Garden in the nosebleeds, where Bud Lights will be shotgunned and properly-spiced fried chicken will be served.
Listen to Shenuque Tissera's podcast "My First Dungeon" on Spotify and Apple Podcasts!!!