(1995 - 2021) Derek Darquilin, descendant of the ancient feudal family of Darquilin, died last night surrounded by both a militia of angry neighbors and his family of living and non-living relatives. Although the family currently sells banana-shaped corn and raises a stable of ancient meat-filled horses, the Darquilins were at one time known for their ongoing feud with their English rivals, the family Snatchoreikers (s-n-a-t-c-h-o-r-e-i-k-e-r-s), famous for their amateur squabble in 1383 AD at the Battle of Blood River. Derek, however, possessed none of the wartime qualities of his ancestors. He will be remembered for very little, besides forgetting his sisters name, his tendency to digress into family lore, and his ineptness as a family vegetable salesman. His ghost will be at his funeral on Friday. ft. CHRIS QUAZZO as Derek Darquilin & Dutchess Gertrude TRICIA CRIMMINS as Stathy Darquilin & Steve JOHN GOODMAN as Devil & Sir Patrick Darquilin DAN KUAN PEEPLES as God & Grandma Shathy theme song by Aaron Shapiro an ELEVATOR pod